PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
