Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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