nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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