I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize