i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
