it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
