covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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