she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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