how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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