Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
