before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
