I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
she looked like the before picture.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
