its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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