Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
