There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
