Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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