i'm signing you up for texting rehab
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
