I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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