do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
