I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
