i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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