Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
