puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
