She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
