ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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