What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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