I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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