please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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