yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
