my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize