im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
