the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
