I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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