How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize