well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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