His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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