One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
