im having a threesome with these popsicles
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize