WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
