What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
