I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize