she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
