i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Farmville is her only friend.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
