I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
