everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I haven't been this sober since birth.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
