Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
