Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
