nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
a search helicopter?!
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
