I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
