and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
