Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
