i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
