Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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