i love accidental penises.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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