I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize