all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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