Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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