Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
