You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
