Me. At least after what I've been through.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I have already put on my inside pants.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
